ALLOW FOR YOUR ANGER / GRIEF
Let's consider "ANGR"—and no, this is not a typo.
A few years ago, I was in a medical bookstore, browsing the racks. I found myself drawn to a book on cardiac rehab. As I thumbed through it, the pages fell open to a discussion about the impact of anger on the heart. I figured it would be "no brainer" info, until my eyes fell upon the etymology of the word.
ANGR, in Old Norse, originally meant GRIEF.
Suddenly, the emotion of ANGER made absolute sense to me. GRIEF surfaces from loss and all that it encompasses --not having what we've known or what we expected. It involves disappointment ( an "appointment" that wasn't met or kept) and sorrow for that disappointment and loss.
Seen through this lens, the fire of ANGER isn't about "getting mad" by acting out, yelling, screaming, or throwing a fit. It's about the deep emotion of GRIEF that comes with loss.
Does this mean you stop being angry? Absolutely not. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I'm a big fan of well cared for ANGER -- it's one of the reasons I've written the word in bold caps: ANGER. I feel it often takes a bad rap in our society, and doesn't get enough well deserved attention.
So what is The Practice?
The next time you find Your Self in the storm of ANGER, yours, or someone else's:
Stop and Breathe
Ask Your Self:
"What is the loss in this situation?"
"What is being grieved?"
Dare to let your ANGER teach you.
Once you actively choose to see ANGER in this light-- as GRIEF -- you'll see beyond the red faced, object tossing, foot stomping, and curse hurling, to remember that what you're witnessing is grief.
By the way, a few days later, I returned to the store to reread the paragraphs. The book was gone -- almost as though it had never been on the shelf in the first place.
Clearly, a gift from The Universe, that I didn't need to reconfirm.
To ANGER !