The other day, I found myself writing this reminder:
"Stop expecting to have your expectations met."
Somehow, this simple statement felt quite liberating and hopeful.
Let’s refer to the dictionary for the word expectations: “things looked forward to”. Take a moment and let Your Self absorb the phrase —looked forward to. What does that tell You?
Forward involves the Future, doesn’t it?—which means we’re no longer in the Present, yes?
This is a great set-up for disappointment, heartache, anger and the blues, isn’t it?
How many times have we all had our hearts set on something: a particular occasion, a conversation, an event, a gathering, an upcoming vacation, a date, a dressing down of someone, a point by point explanation of our side of the story, and so on….
In short, and in a nod to my former career, how many times have we written a script for a situation, cast the players in our heads, given them their lines, and even shot the scene? — only to find when we get to the “set”—the actual moment—that nothing goes “according to plan”. I've been there too many times to count.
Then what happens? We feel cheated, betrayed, lied to, hurt, and are ready to dissolve into tears, withdraw, lash out, punish—do whatever we can to “right” (rewrite) the moment.
Let me be clear, I’m not suggesting we all relinquish the deliciousness of anticipation. It needs to be honored and appreciated. At certain times it can even add to the impact of the moment. We get into trouble, though, when it becomes the driving force for our choices and behaviors.
To counter this, the Practice becomes returning to the Present — the moment at hand:
Identify how You leave that moment and get carried away.
Track your pattern and let it teach You.
When you experience Your Self drifting from the Present:
Realizing how we contribute to the “future perfect” becoming the “future imperfect” will alleviate the upset that we’re so often convinced is “done to us”.
Not that I’m abandoning looking forward to the future, but rather recommitting My Self to staying in the Present. Care to join me?
Watch. Listen. Practice. SwaffWords© Video