"Pull up a Chair ...."
Let’s consider a different way to weather a well-worn situation—a long standing pattern that doesn’t seem to budge, change, or heal.
You know what I’m describing. We’ve all been there more often than we’d care to admit.
So, let’s navigate it in a different way, shall we?
For example, you’re meeting a friend who’s like a windup toy. S/he greets you almost perfunctorily and dives right into whatever’s going on—the recent trials, tribulations or dramas S/he shares non-stop and just before your time together is up, takes a breath and asks about you.
Or, you’re spending time with a member of your family ( always a great teacher ) and this parent / sibling / spouse starts in with their “rap”, their well practiced way(s) of being: the wounds, the slights, the difficulties of life in general.
Or, you need to move through a bureaucratic encounter: the DMV, the Post Office during the holidays, a passport renewal line, etc: the wait, the seeming indifference of those behind the counter, the inevitable lunch break just before you get to the window ….
You know the odds of what’s going to happen in these situations because you’ve been there before. We have all this previous knowledge, and yet we fall into old behaviors, judgments and upsets in these situations—despite all the advice we’ve heard about detaching and being neutral.
Here’s a reframe that will allow you to do just that:
Since you know the trite outline and probable outcome of the situation, why not treat it like a rerun of a show you’ve seen many times before? You know the emotional “beats” of the scene, the intro, the arc of the storyline, the denouement. You might even be able to predict the timing of and the very “lines” that are spoken. Therefore, you need not be surprised, blindsided or attached to any part of the encounter. Yes?
Whenever I find myself in a moment like this, I remind My Self to just “pull up a chair and watch the show”. Let it be something you’ve seen over and over before. Period. When you’re watching a rerun, I doubt you get your panties in a wad about it. There’s a predictable tiredness that creates a detachment, allowing you to weather the moment without undue fuss.
Next time you find Your Self in such moment and are unable to "change the channel" for whatever reason:
Remind Your Self this is a rerun.
“Pull up a chair and watch the show.”
Settle into the predictability of the situation.
I promise this will shift the energy of the moment, and make it much easier for You to weather the encounter.
Watch. Listen. Practice. SwaffWords© Video